Jan. 28,2010

Nathen was right as usual I should have been listening to music all along. It helps me relax and get things done. Might even get some of the house cleaned today.

Nice little mix from Elvis, Savage Garden, Evanesence to Merle. It keeps me calm. Helps calm my brain. It has a tendancy to get ahead of me and then the panic attacks start. Maybe I need to make this part of my therapy everyday. I feel like I've lost who I am and I don't like that. I want to be able to enjoy my time with the kids and Nathen, but I can't all I seem to want to do is sleep. Well sort of sleep I lay on the couch with my eyes closed and want to be left alone. I don't sleep in the day I'm still not sleeping of a night I wish they could figure out what is wrong with me. I've tried the ambien but I still wake up constantly. I'm not sure what to do. Thank goodness for this blog. I need to get back into venting each day cause my head goes faster than I can write so typing is best. Done for now.